And the Oscar Goes To . . .

Michael Christopher Trahan, for his role in "Bedtime".

We had promised Mikie he could stay up and watch the football players and Tom Brady (whom he says is the Greatest Football Player, when he isn't arguing that he plays for the Red Sox). By the end of the 1st quarter, I could not deal with the jumping off the furniture, stealing of my pillows and blankets, and overall insanity that comes with an overly tired three year old. And, since Mike (who has more patience than I and who usually oversees bedtime) would not be pulled away from the TV before half-time, I went to put Mikie to bed.

Of course, the words "Let's go brush your teeth" were like a death sentence, and I had to force Mike to carry the child upstairs during a commercial break. Somehow, during the ordeal, Mikie managed to kick off his pajama pants and underwear. Feeling confident that I could "handle" the situation, I told Mike to go watch the game. Ha ha. After letting him roll around naked for a few minutes, I forced him back into his underwear and pajamas. This only seemed to enrage him more. In a fit, Mikie told me he was "not going to play with me anymore!" I can hold a grudge better than anyone, so far be it from me to let a three year old upstage me. I told him "Fine. Goodnight." and turned and left the room. Here are some of the things you could hear being yelled through the door of his bedroom:

"I AM GOING TO THROW ALL MY CHANCES IN THE GARBAGE FOR THE DAMAGE YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!"

"I AM NOT GOING TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!"

"I AM GOING TO PLAY BY MYSELF."

"I AM GOING TO WATCH SCOOBY DOO ALL BY MYSELF."

"MOMMY, YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL. THE POLICEMEN ARE GOING TO TAKE YOU AWAY FOR ALL THE DAMAGE YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!"

I don't know if it was half-time, or if Mikie's yelling was interfering with Mike's enjoyment of the game, because at some point during this tirade, Mike came back upstairs. Ever the grown-up, I was laughing in my bedroom, trying to commit to memory some of the more amusing statements, wishing the camcorder wasn't broken. Immediately after he entered the room, Mikie told Mike:

"You're my best friend, Daddy. You and I can watch Scooby Doo with me but not mommy 'cause Mommy was mean to me. Mommy is going to jail for all the damage she has done to me."

Just for the record, the next morning, he wanted me to get up and get him milk and make him pancakes for breakfast and watch "Super Why" with him. When I asked him if we were friends again, he said "Yeah. You're my best friend, Mommy." So, either he needs to work on his grudge holding capabilities, or he is using me for my ability to reach the maple syrup.

I don't know where he picks up these phrases. If only I had the camcorder, I could have at least won some money on "America's Funniest Home Videos" or "Kids Say the Darndest Things".

Love,
The Trahans

Top 3 Funniest Mikie Stories

In honor of the New Year (and late night TV being back on air), I figured I would do my own countdown. Here it it: The Top Three Unblogged Mikie Stories of 2007.

#3: Champion Hot Dog Eater

Mikie loves to eat at Friendly's. Every time we go, he orders a hotdog with ketchup and mustard. And, assuming he eats all the hotdog, he orders a "Chocolate Monster Ice Cream" for dessert. Over the Christmas holiday, we decided to go out to Friendly's for lunch, and then go bowling. Mikie finished half of his hotdog and told us he wanted to leave, that he wasn't hungry. We told him he wouldn't get any ice cream, but he didn't seem to care. So, when the waitress came over, we told her we would take the ice cream to go. We told Mikie if he ate all his dinner later, he could have the ice cream.

All of the sudden, it dawned on him that we really weren't going to give him his ice cream. In less than a second, four pieces of hotdog were shoved in his mouth, with two more in his hands ready to be shoved in.

Since he devoured the hotdog in less time than the waitress took to walk back to the kitchen, we were able to get Mikie's ice cream. Evidently, if he wants a career eating hotdogs, all you need to pay him with is Friendly's ice cream.

#2: Peeing at Panera

We had stopped at Panera Bread for dinner before going to a Christmas party at our friends' house. Mike tried to take Mikie to use the bathroom while I stood in line to order our food. Evidently, Mikie did not have to go, so they sat at a booth with their drinks while I waited for the food. As I walked over with the first of our trays, I noticed Mike was frantically trying to get my attention.

Mike: "Hurry up, you have to go get your son."

Lauren: "Where is he?"

Mike: "He just walked into the women's bathroom."

I ran into the bathroom to find Mikie checking all the empty stalls. I asked him if he had to use the potty, if not, he shouldn't be in there. As I lectured him, he walked into a stall, pulled down his pants, and started peeing (stall door wide open, cheeks bared for the world to see). We washed our hands and left.

When we returend to the table, I threw Mike a "Why didn't you take him into the men's room" look. He told me, "We were sitting here, waiting for you. All of the sudden, Mikie tells me 'Watch my drink, Dad.' Before I could react, he got up and walked into the women's bathroom."

#1: Mikie, The Dog Lover

We went over to our friends' house for Matt's 30th birthday. They have two dogs, Fergie and Franklin. Franklin was the most behaved dog ever, and seemed content to follow Mikie every where he ran. Click on the picture below to see some footage:

What we didn't realize was Franklin had an ulterior motive: when Mikie stopped moving (which was infrequent), Franklin tried to hump him.

At one point in the party, Mikie was tired from running and dramatically threw himself down on the floor in exhaustion. Franklin jumped at the opportunity and started humping Mikie's head! I was laughing so hard, I couldn't even make it over to help him. Mike rescued him, instructing him to stay on his feet. Mikie, completely unphased (he was laughing the whole time) took off running like nothing had happened, calling for Franklin to follow him.

Here's to many more laughs in 2008!

Love, The Trahans