So, last weekend, I flew down to Maryland to help my sister pack and move. Katie, in the ultimately ploy to avoid doing any work herself, dislocated her knee before I arrived. And, because she is my sister, and the story makes me laugh, I am going to further humiliate her by posting it here:
It is 5am on Thursday, June 14th. My sister is in the shower, getting ready for the last day of school. She turns off the water, reaches for a towel, and slips, knocking her right knee into the side of the tub. Immediately, she knows she dislocated it. . . partly because she had dislocated her left knee two weeks before my wedding. . . and partly because it was rotated 90 degrees from where it should have been. First thought, call 911.
So, she crawls down the hall to the bedroom to get her cell phone. Unfortunately, as she talks to the operator, she realizes that the apartment door is locked (deadbolt and all). The operator informs her that if she cannot unlock the door, they will have to break it down. My sister calls Fabrice, hoping he can meet them at the door and unlock it, but he is an hour away. Fabrice calls his cousin, Basil (pronounced Bah-zeel), who lives in the same apartment complex and has a spare key. The only problem is, my sister had the locks changed a month ago, and forgot to give Basil a new key.
Shortly after hanging up with 911, the fire department bangs down the door. And in runs Basil and two firefighters, to find my sister, laying soaking wet, and naked (except for a towel) on the bed. Basil gives her a shirt, but she can't get anything over her knee without causing excruciating pain. So, naked from the waist down, they roll her onto a back board, and begin carrying her out of the apartment.
Evidently, trouble ensued as the two firemen holding her head were rather large (read: drank too much beer at the firehouse). My sister's hallway is about 2-3 feet wide, and turns 90 degrees at one point. So, my sister heard the following conversation as they tried to carry her out of her bedroom:
Fireman #1: "Should we be the ones in here?"
Fireman #2: "Why not?"
Fireman #1: "Well, that hallway is kind of narrow. Do you think we will get stuck?"
Fireman #2: "We'll just suck it in."
At which point, my sister started laughing so hard, she was shaking (which only hurt her knee more).
In addition to "sucking it in", they had to strategically lower her head and raise her feet to an almost vertical position in order to navigate the turns down the hall.
Upon arriving to the ER, still naked from the waist down, she had X-rays. The orderly, not knowing she was naked, kept trying to move her towel.
Finally, she was discharged, knee popped back into place, and equipped with crutches. Basil had the foresight to bring her underwear and clothes, but forgot socks and shoes. So, the hospital gave her a pair of socks to leave in. Because, when you have little enough traction with crutches, you want to wear socks on a slippery floor.
When she arrived back at her apartment, she found the door hanging open. It was mishapen from the force of the fire company. The deadbolt was broken off in the lock, and the door frame was broken. Amazingly, no one had robbed her while she was gone. I had to call a locksmith to come to her apartment before I flew down there so that we weren't sleeping in an unsecure building (she didn't live in the best neighborhood).
I told her for Christmas I am going to get her one of those medic alert necklaces (the one's with the lady that cries "I've fallen, and I can't get up). I am also going to install a phone in her bathroom, and leave an emergency kit of clothes on her toilet to avoid future naked trips to the hospital. On the plus side, I told her she could have picked up a new husband. Of course, given her luck that day, it most likely would have been some toothless orderly with a record, not a doctor.
Love, The Trahans