The Eye Shadow Incident of 2016

I remember being a kid and desperately wanting to wear makeup. But, my mother insisted "not until you're in high school", which was in part because I went to Catholic grammar school and the nuns didn't allow it. But, in hindsight, I also believe was because I was too young. So, I'm not surprised that at seven, Hannah wants to wear makeup. But, unlike me, Hannah doesn't just accept that "mom said no" and count down to her freshman year of high school...

Mikie has been battling an epic bout of croup/sinus infection that kept him out of school earlier this week. I stayed home with him and, since Mike was stuck in traffic, went to pick Hannah up at after-care. Imagine my surprise when I walked in to find my daughter with blue eyeshadow smeared (unevenly) all over her eyelids up to her brow bone like Mimi from the Drew Carey show. 

Because Mikie and I were at the doctor's, I didn't see her before she left for school. But I was 90% positive that Mike didn't condone the use of makeup. 

Me:  "Why are you wearing makeup?!?"

Hannah:  "Victoria said I could use it."

Now, I don't know who Victoria is, a friend, a staff member at the after-care program, an older kid.  But, since I vividly remember pushing this red-headed minx out of my body seven years ago, I am 100% certain she is NOT Hannah's mother.  

I managed to control my rage enough to curtly tell Hannah to grab her things and exit the building before I started yelling. 

Me:  "You KNOW you are not allowed to wear makeup."

Hannah:  "I forgot."

Me:  "That's a lie and you know it."

Hannah:  "Well, I know how to take it off.  It's easy."

Me:  <insulted> "I KNOW how to remove makeup!  I used to MAKE makeup for a living. I can MAKE that eyeshadow!  That's not the point. You're seven...SEVEN!  You are too young to wear makeup. Not to mention that when you ARE old enough to wear makeup, you NEVER share someone else's makeup. Eyeshadow is UNPRESERvED. It is susceptible to microbial growth. You could get pink eye!"

Hannah:  <not smart enough to keep quiet while I yell> "What's microbial growth?"

Me:  "Germs.  You're missing the point. The point is, you are not allowed to wear makeup."

By this point we had arrived at home. Hannah went inside while I stayed outside and tried to calm down. 

I walked inside to find Hannah at the kitchen table working on her homework with Mike, acting like nothing was amiss.  

Me:  "Did you SEE what you're daughter is wearing?"

Mike looks Hannah up and down while she innocently bats her eyelashes at him, as if silently saying, "I don't know what she's talking about. I'm an angel. Mom's crazy."

Mike:  <with a confused look on his face> "No?"

Me:  "EYESHADOW?!?  How can you miss the blue eyeshadow?!?"

So, we had a talk about not needing to wear makeup to be pretty. Obviously led by Mike, the more rational parent. I was too busy envisioning Hannah as Sarah Jessica Parker in "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", smuggling slutty outfits out of the house in her backpack and changing the minute my back is turned. 

While I wish I had a picture to add to this post, I refused to take one, since it would cement in her head that, although weSAID no, we secretly found it funny, and she could get away with it again. So, you'll just have to use your imagination. 

If this is seven, God help us when she is a teenager...

Love, The Trahans