The Pressure of a Name

I felt immense pressure when picking our kids names. Mikie was easy since we knew we wanted him to be another Michael, but not a junior.  So, we just had to find a middle name that went with "Michael".  Rule #1 in the name game was that the combined first and middle name had to roll effortlessly off the tongue when yelled from the bottom of the stairs. For example:  Michael Jedediah is a mouthful which could lead to further anger that I can't appropriately scold my child, but Michael Christopher borders on lyrical when yelled. 

Naming Hannah was even more challenging because there were more rules.  Rule #2:  must sound professional when listed on a resume. For example, I loved the name Becca. Not as a nickname for Rebecca, but as a stand alone name. But, do you hire a Becca?  Or, do you assume she's ditzy for using what you assume can only be a nickname on her resume?  And, Rule #3:  must sound good (and ideally look aesthetically pleasing) when written on a wedding invitation. Rule #4:  cannot remind either of us of past girlfriends or females who annoyed me (that narrowed out quite a few). Most importantly, Rule #5:  initials cannot spell a word or stand for anything. I went to school with a girl whose initials spelled CAT, and it annoyed me to no end that people tried to claim my initials spelled LAMB. I constantly corrected them that there was no B in my name, to no avail. Little did they know that LAM was also a word (we were 9).  

Mike imposed rules of his own.  Rule #6:  must not be the most popular name. Despite his desire for "Michael" to retake its long held position as #1 boys name, he hated the confusion that I sued at the pediatrician so when they called "Michael", and five people stood up. Thus, I begrudgingly eliminated "Emma". Rule #7:  must be gender specific. This eliminated Madison, Kennedy, and Reagan. And, his family also weighted in that the name shouldn't sound too exotic, since it needs to go with "Michael Christopher". Which is how Kiera got the axe. 

When you look at all of these rules, it's amazing Hannah has one. Mikie ultimately came to the rescue with her first name. Evidently, there was a Hannah in his preschool who "was nice". And, I always felt that our parents did a good job picking our names. Until last night's conversation with Hannah...

Hannah:  "Mom, what was your name when you were a kid?"

Me:  <slightly confused were this is going> "Lauren.  McLaughlin."

Hannah:  <pauses>."That's a weird name."

Me:  "Why do you say that?"

At this point, I'm expecting her to say it sounds like a boy's name, which I got a lot growing up (thank you, Ralph Lauren). But, that isn't where her head is at all...

Hannah:  "It doesn't sound like a kid name.  It's to serious. It sounds like a grown-up name."

Me:  <thinking Lauren was infinitely better than my grandmother's and her sister's names:  Muriel and Gertrude> "Well, all grown-ups were kids once, so every kid name is a grown-up name."

Needless to say, she did not seem convinced by this argument. Sorry, Mom & Dad. Your granddaughter found you lacking in the name department. Although, she seems to think you redeemed yourself with Katie's name. 

I can only imagine what she will name her own kids...

Love, The Trahans