The Family Trip to the Obstetrician's

Or, why Mikie will NOT be present at the birth of Nibbles. . .

Now that I'm past 30 weeks, my doctor's appointments are now scheduled every two weeks. This meant one fell smack in the middle of our Christmas vacation. Ideal, because we didn't have to worry about leaving work. The downside: Mikie would be home with us, not at daycare. And, while we could have driven him to daycare for the afternoon, neither of us was excited about the prospect of driving an extra 2 hours just to have a free afternoon.

Recognizing that these appointments last all of 15 minutes, Mike assured me that we would be fine bringing him with us. So, on the 30th, we all drove to the doctor's office. While most days we are the only people sitting in the waiting room, this time it was standing room only. And, all the crayons seemed to have mysteriously disappeared, leaving Mikie to entertain himself. How does Mikie entertain himself? By running laps around the crowded waiting area. I didn't think the parents of the 6 week old were too amused, until I heard them refer to their four year old son. So, hopefully, their daughter was already used to being trampled by crazy boys.

Thankfully, the nurse called us back, minimizing everyone's exposure to Mikie. And, she reassured me that we weren't the only people making their OB appointment a family affair for the holiday (I have no idea if she was lying, I just wanted to believe her). So, after peeing and the torturous weigh-in, I joined the boys in the exam room.

It's bad enough that Mikie can't sit still in an exam room. First, he INSISTS on sitting on the doctor's stool. I mean, what kid wouldn't. . . it's small, backless, on wheels, and spins around. If you're a kid with a vivid imagination, it's a mode of transportation. Knowing the doctor has never used this stool in the 2 years I have seen her, I could have cared less if Mikie wheeled himself around the room on it, so long as he was quiet. After all, we weren't at the pediatrician's office where I run the risk of being deemed a bad parent. We were at the obstetrician's office. Their goal is to give us a kid, not to care what we do with them once they arrive.

Mike, however, being a more responsible parent then myself, tried desperately to keep Mikie off that stool. This involved holding (restraining) Mikie on his lap. Which put Mikie at the perfect level to touch everything on the counter. Now, while all my appointment entailed was measuring my abdomen and listening to the baby's heartbeat, other people go for more involved exams. And, like any efficient doctor's office, certain equipment was laying on the counter in preparation for those other appointments. To Mike and my joint horror, Mikie IMMEDIATELY grabbed the tube of "toothpaste" (aka KY Jelly). Fighting back laughter, we sternly told him to put everything down and sit quietly. Before we got smart enough to bribe him with a game of tic-tac-toe on the iPhone, he also grabbed a miniature replica of a cervix.

Thankfully, the doctor came in and we were put out of our misery in a matter of minutes. Mikie seemed intrigued by Nibbles' heartbeat (we had to explain to the doctor why he calls her Nibbles). And, we made it out of the office before he grabbed the stirrups (although, he did go after the exam light).

All told, we were in and out within 30 minutes. However, that short period of time was enough to cement in our minds that there was NO WAY Mikie would ever attend another doctor's appointment with us again, let alone attend the birth of his sister.

One day, when he is married, we will have this story to embarrass him with. So, it wasn't a total loss.

Love, The Trahans