Coed Topless Back Massage

I couldn't resist the title. . .

For the past four years, Mike's approach to chiropractic care is to have Mikie walk on his back. This is very risky, for Mike not Mikie, since Mikie thinks it is funny to JUMP on Mike's back like it is a trampoline and hear Mike groan in pain. Honestly, it is amazing he can still walk.

For best traction, Mike takes off his shirt and lays on the floor. On this particular occassion, Dr. Mikie felt inspired to take off his shirt (his shirt being so cumbersome when trying to visualize on which vertebra to bounce). So why did Hannah take off her shirt? Because Mikie did. As you can see, she was incredibly pleased with herself. Who wouldn't be? She got to do two things that would otherwise be prohibited: walk around partially naked AND attempt to inflict pain and injury on one of her parents. We aren't sure why Mikie insisted on pouting in the majority of the photos. Mike thinks he is a wanna be Abercrombie model. The pout says "I'm so good looking, it makes me sad!"

Love, The Trahans

Unappreciated

As a belated birthday present, my sister, Katie, and her husband, Marta (Uncle Tay for short), bought Hannah more dress up stuff. The girl can now open a boutique she's got so many shoes and purses. Well, so many in Mike's eyes, not Hannah's.

I decided to document Hannah opening her gift, since Auntie Katie and Uncle Tay live in the South and love video of Hannah. What we ended up getting was evidence that Hannah loves Uncle Tay more than Auntie Katie. We've all suspected it. Since birth, Hannah would love to sit with Marta, even over me, a point Marta loves to brag about. When they come to visit, they fight over who gets to hold her first. . .

As you will hear at the end of the first section of video, Hannah looks straight at the camera and says "Thank you, Tay." While I hoped opening the shoes would help her focus more on thanking Auntie Katie too, it was only after repeatedly thanking Marta that she gets around to Katie.

In Hannah's defense, Katie did buy a "first birthday" card, so maybe she was pissed that her Aunt can't even remember how old she is. I wouldn't put it past her; this child can hold a grudge like nobody's business. I have no idea where she gets it from. . .

Love, The Trahans

Hannah Turns 2

Alright, no one knows better than me that my daughter was born on February 19th, not March 6th. Yes, I am a little behind. And, we may not have had one big birthday celebration (or four birthday celebrations like we seem to have for Mikie). But, we have been celebrating Hannah's birthday for the last month.

We started the month by going to Sesame Street Live: Elmo's Green Thumb at the Lowell Memorial Auditorium. I have to say, it was a great location. I can never tell how big a place is from the seating charts on Ticketmaster, so I ordered seats on the floor. But, the Auditorium is pretty small. I think we would have had a great view anywhere we sat. It wasn't packed; there were empty seats and room for the kids to dance in the aisles.In spite of the fact that he was the oldest kid in the Auditorium, Mikie was a good sport and seemed to enjoy the plot line. Hannah had such a good time, she passed out 10 minutes before the show ended.In the "actual" birthday weekend, we traveled to Pennsylvania to visit Grandma Pookie and Grand Da. Granted, I had an ulterior motive of ditching the kids so Mike and I could have 24 hours or peace. We stayed at the Lowes Hotel in Philadelphia, had deep tissue massages, ate at Del Frisco's for dinner and ordered room service for breakfast. Oh, and the kids had fun too. My parents took them to the Strasbourg Railroad to ride the trains, followed by dinner at Friendly's. They also had fun sleeping on the pull out sofa together. . . The highlight of the month of February was the day I sent cupcakes into daycare. When I picked her up, Hannah would not stop talking about "Hannah's cakes". I think she had seen other kids celebrate their birthday and liked being the center of attention.

All leading up to today. Hannah's birthday party. My grandiose plans on a snowy day in January had a guest list with all our friends and family, an elaborate cake, games themed around Sesame Street (a beanbag toss of "trash" into Oscar's trashcan, pin the cookie on Cookie monster, an Elmo pinata). In the end, we settled on a handful of family, ziti, cake, and a pinata (mostly because I already bought it two months ago). I did still make the cake, which, I must say, is one of my favorites.In the end, Hannah had a good time. Who am I kidding, Hannah always has a good time when she is the center of attention.Happy Belated Birthday, Princess.

Love, The Trahans

A Bunch of Hams

Like a lot of parents, we have tried to get professional photos of our kids taken at least once a year. Over the last six years, I think we have tried most of the usual photo studios: Sears, JCPenny, Target, Kiddie Kandids. Each had their issues: Sears and JCPenny required appointments and a 6 week wait on prints. Kiddie Kandids took walk-ins and printed your photos immediately. Unfortunately, their time management stunk. They underestimated the amount of time required to take pictures, so, even if you had an appointment, you were frequently stuck waiting. . . sometimes up to an hour. And, let me tell you, it is not pleasant to wait an hour with kids in dress clothes. Bribery was rampant, just to attempt to keep the kids happy long enough to get semi decent photos.

Enter Living Social. I was not paying attention to any of the "Deal of the Day" type websites. Until the day my friend, Amanda, sent me an e-mail about a deal from Living Social. For $80, you got a 1-hour photo shoot at a location of your choice plus a CD with 50 hi-res photos. Even after I print some, I would still spend less money than Kiddie Kandids (since I seemed to spend around $140 to get the CD plus all the prints). The only restriction, the location had to be within 1 hours drive of Boston.

And that is how we met Kate Femino. I paid for the deal, and scheduled a photo session at our house. That way, I can keep our kids entertained with their toys, video games, movies, etc. The only challenge would be finding ways to get cute photos in our home. Luckily, Kate being a skilled photographer, she had lots of great ideas.

As the photos clearly prove, Mikie is quite a ham. Mikie was not only happy to insert himself into EVERY photo, he was very opinionated on what would make good shots. Mikie playing air hockey. . . Mikie with his Lego Death Star. . . Mikie jumping on the trampoline. . . Mikie channeling Richard Nixon's famous "V signs". Once again, I swear this child is the male embodiment of my sister; Katie was always hamming it up in front of the camera.To end the photo session, I bought cupcakes to stage a birthday celebration for Hannah. Thought process being, we never seem to have decent pictures of the four of us at birthday parties. Or, it might have been a decent picture if my mouth wasn't open singing. Unfortunately, these shots were filled with me almost strangling my first born, since he continued to climb across the counter and blow out the candles before Kate could get a shot of Hannah doing so. She did manage to get some cute close-ups of the princess with a mouthful of frosting.To see all of the photos, click here.

Love, The Trahans

Hannah's Unbirthday Party

Hannah is very excited about having a birthday. I know she doesn't comprehend the significance. She does, however, understand that it comes with candles and singing. It started after Christmas. She heard us sign "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus" (a little tradition we have done since I was little) and blow out the candles, and it all went down hill. Now, anytime she sees a candle, she wants to sing and blow it out, regardless of whether it is a birthday candle or a household candle.

Then, one cold snowy day (they are all starting to run together), Hannah demanded "Happy to You!", I decided to grab some Hostess Mini Chocolate Chip Muffins, and put a birthday candle in it. In essence, I created a monster. Because now, everytime I try and serve breakfast, Hannah wants candles and singing. You can see video here.

Cute monster, but monster none the less. Maybe after her actual birthday comes and goes, we can break this habit.

Love, The Trahans

Holy Snow!

We have had a little bit of snow here in New England. And, by little, I mean so much snow that I could easily lose my kids in it.

Before it got too deep, we had some fun playing in it. Since we didn't get a lot of snow accumulation last year, this was really Hannah's first time playing in the snow. If you click on the picture below, you can watch video of the kids sledding. I will warn you: there are a few seconds of video of the snow which I meant to edit out, but missed. It takes so long to compile the HD video that I'm leaving it for now. Hopefully Hannah's giggles make up for any momentary dizziness you experience. That footage was taken after the "big storm" on December 26th. It had warmed up to 50 degrees the day we went sledding, so we only had a few inches of snow on the ground.

Then came January. We got a few inches on January 8th, slammed with a foot and a half of snow on January 12th, more on the 21st followed by another 18 inches on January 27th. In total, the weather service claims we have had five total feet of snow. It's been wet, so I think we still have about 3 1/2 feet of packed snow still on the ground (not counting the drifts from the snow blower). We HAD an ice rink in the back yard, but there is so much snow, you can't even see it.

You can see the pictures evolve below:

Mike shoveling snow off the ice rink on January 9th

Snow accumulating on the deck as of 7am on January 12th. . .

Noon on January 12th. . .

8pm on January 12th. . .

January 28th. . .

Our lethal icicle, before Mike knocked it down. . .

The disappearing ice rink. . .

Unfortunately for Hannah, we now have too much snow to effectively play in. We went sledding, but it is exhausting to trudge back up the hill through wasted deep snow carrying a wiggly toddler. And, the last few feet of snow were so powdery, it doesn't pack well for snowballs or snowmen. Hannah is very upset about the snowman. Everytime she sees more snow, she asks Mike for a snowman.

As I type, we are gearing up for another 10 to 20 inches. Because of our location, we are on the edge of the "change-over to wintery mix". So, we could get 10-14 inches plus a few inches of ice on top, or two feet of pure snow. At this point, we are hoping for snow, because what's two more feet when you have already seen five total. Plus, snow is easier to clear than ice (so I've heard. . . Mike is the official snow blower operator).

Hopefully we'll see everyone when we thaw out this summer!

Love, The Trahans

Elmyra Trahan

You may or may not remember a cartoon in the 90s called "Tiny Toon Adventures". The premise was the next generation of cartoon characters went through "Acme Looniversity" to learn how to be cartoon characters from professors like Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, and Bugs Bunny. There was a character, Elmyra, who LOVED animals. Loved to the point of suffocation, capture, injury. She definitely didn't live by the motto, "If you love it, set it free...Let's just say that there is a striking resemblance between Hannah and this cartoon character. And, it goes far beyond the red hair. Hannah is a pet killer.

Okay, I can't say conclusively that Hannah killed Mikie's frog. On one of our recent snow days, I turned around to find Hannah shaking the frog tank. And, for an eight hour period after that, Flippy (yes, the frog was named Flippy) was floating belly up, twitching, trying to upright himself as he struggled to survive.

Mikie was fairly accepting of Flippy's untimely demise (I omitted the small detail that Hannah had been seen shaking the tank when I told him of the frogs passing). His only request was that we get a "guinea pig that's black and white and call him Rhino."

And so, we introduce pet #2: Rhino (or "Whino" for those of us who don't recognize the letter "R"). So, in addition to working full time and caring for two kids, I have another small mammal to keep, clean, fed, and healthy. Oh, and safe, which, for Rhino's sake, I hope to have greater success with than Flippy.

Love, The Trahans

Mom's Best Christmas Present Ever!

I have wanted a digital SLR camera since Mikie started running faster than the shutter speed on my regular camera. I had tried making the camera take multiple shots in succession in hopes of getting one good picture to no avail. Mike upgraded my camera for my birthday a year before Hannah was born which helped slightly. As Mike started playing soccer, my desire for a digital SLR camera grew. With very few ideas of what else to get me for Christmas, Mike broke down and bought me one. And, not just anyone, a Nikon D5000.

I am no photography expert, but, I am amazed by how much nicer my photos look. And, this is without me editing them, which, incidentally I can now do ON THE CAMERA, as opposed to uploading and Photoshopping for hours on end.

These are some of my favorites, mostly because they perfectly capture my kids' personalities. Alas, I can't take credit for them (the photos, not the kids), since Mike actually took all four of these pictures:

Mikie, full of love for life. . . Hannah, scathing mad when she doesn't get her way. . .looking cute as a button when she realizes others are watching and that she needs to keep up the ruse of innocence.So, if you like the photos on the blog going forward, you can thank Mikie. Because, until I find free time (ha ha) to read the fancy book he bought me to go with the camera, the credit for the pictures is owed more to the camera than the photographer.

Love, The Trahans

Diva, Thy Name is Hannah

Hannah is now 22 months old. And, with the attitude on her, you'd think she was 21 years old. More often then not, I find myself telling her, "Although you may think the world revolves around you, it does not. There are other people here." She usually responds with a scowl. . .I am convinced Hannah believes that everyone on this planet is here to serve her. For the longest time, she called Mike (and many other people) "Mommy". At first I thought, she didn't understand that Mike was "Daddy". I would ask her, "Where's daddy?" and she would look at me with this cheeky grin, as if to say, "I'm not going to tell you. You know darn well where he is." When Mike would come home from work, she would look at me and yell, "Mommy's home!" and run towards the door. If Mike was near the refrigerator she would yell, "Water, Mommy!" Mike would ask, "Do you want me to get you water", to which she would emphatically shake her head "yes". It quickly became apparent that in Hannah's mind, "Mommy" was synonymous with "servant".

In addition, Hannah yells/barks just about everything that comes out of her mouth. She walks into a room, and if you don't immediately acknowledge her presence, you here, "HEY!" Mike didn't notice her walk into the office one morning and thought Mikie was talking to him. He was shocked to see the little princess standing in the doorway.

While her vocabulary is becoming more and more extensive, her pronunciation lacks something. Namely, the letter "R". She has a terrible Massachusetts accent. I am trying to convince her that there really are 26 letters of the alphabet. Her favorite word (other than "no") is "mine". Everything is "MY TUCK" (my truck), "MY JUICE BOX", "MY WAH-DUH" (my water). If she wants me to herself, she will attempt to block Mikie by pushing him out of the way with her butt while grabbing onto me yelling "MY MOMMY." The only positive to come out of this possession is "MY BOTH-AH" (my brother). The majority of the time she adores Mikie. On her terms. If he comes in and gives her a hug, after three seconds of giggles, she ends up pushing him away whining. We frequently have to tell him to let go because Hannah doesn't want to be hugged. Poor Mikie. She wants to do everything he does. If Mikie has ice cream, Hannah wants ice cream. If Mikie is watching movie's in the car, Hannah wants to watch movies in the car. Conversely, she is already smart enough to know the routine. The other night, she was upstairs getting ready for bed, and ran to the top of the stairs and screamed down "NIGHT-NIGHT" at Mike and Mikie because they hadn't come upstairs to get ready for bed.

She loves a few things other than her brother. Elmo is a big favorite. When she was home sick one day, I turned on Sesame Street. I thought she was going to explode, she was so excited to see that Elmo was on TV. She kept running over to the TV and waving at him, petting the TV, not really grasping that he couldn't see her. She has an Elmo doll that she carries around. I got her Elmo slippers recently (since they combine her love of shoes with her love of a furry red monster). I asked her if she showed Elmo her slippers, and she marched over and waved her foot over the doll's head.

Speaking of footwear, the Diva is obsessed with shoes and accessories. She has at least six purses, but it doesn't stop her from marching into my closet and demanding to be given some of mine. She is equally possessive of my shoes. She prefers my flip flops (not thongs, she doesn't like them between her toes), slippers, and pumps. Zero desire to wear my boots or sneakers, although she LOVES to wear Mike and Mikie's sneakers. I hate to admit it, but she gets around pretty well in my high heels. For Christmas, Grandma Pookie got her a Princess Fiona costume, some necklaces and a purple evening bag. Our friends Matt and Catherine sent her fairy wings, feather boa, and wrist scarves. As you can see from the pictures, she was totally taken with her new appearance.Between the sassy attitude and the air of entitlement, I think we have a rough road ahead of us. I cringe less at the thought of college and more at the thought of how elaborate a wedding this one is going to want, assuming she finds someone she deems "worthy" of her attention.

Love, The Trahans

Santa, Lies, and Legos

My friend, Jenny, just recently posted on her blog about why she doesn't feel the need to "promote" Santa as a real person. My favorite quote: "I don't mind having Santa be any one of a number of fictional characters that we talk about/read about/watch but I don't see any reason that Santa can't be like Elmo. No one goes to elaborate lengths to convince their kids that Elmo is real, and kids seem to be pretty into Elmo all the same. And I'm pretty sure that my children will still be big fans of Christmas without us acting as if Santa is an actual real person."

And then there is me. I concoct the most elaborate lies to further my children's belief in Santa. When they realize there is no Santa, they will hate me. They may even need counseling. Until, one day, they have kids of their own (God help us all), at which point they will hopefully understand.I have to say, my lies started out innocently enough, same as most parents. Santa is a kind old man who lives at the North Pole (please, Mikie, don't look at a map and realize that their is no land mass in the Arctic Ocean). The whole point of my lie being to bring some magic into my child's life. . .

Then, my child hit the terrible-two's. . . at around 18 months. And, the terrible-two's turned into the even-more-terrible-threes (which no one tells you about before you actually have children). Around the same time, I began to use Santa as a scare tactic. "Do you think Santa would approve of this behaviour?" "Are you being naughty or nice?" "Do you realize it is only three days until Christmas which is still plenty of time for Santa to decide NOT to come to our house?" I convinced Mikie that Santa had given me his phone number to report back to him about Mikie's behaviour. I even CALLED Santa one night from Target during a meltdown (boy did that backfire. . . everyone in Target looked at me like I was an ogre while my child begged me to call Santa back). . .

But I digress. This year, Mikie made out his list for Santa (which I now use as an educational tool to force him to practice writing and spelling). In addition to just about every Lego set on the planet, Mikie (for the second year in a row) had listed the Lego Death Star.

Now, for those of you who don't follow Lego, the Death Star is a $400 Lego set. And, "Santa" (meaning me) did not want to spend $400 on one toy. Because, I can honestly say that would have been the only toy under the tree. But, how do you tell a child that Santa isn't going to bring them the one toy they really want?

Enter the big lie for 2010: "Lego's are patented, so Santa can't make them at his workshop in the North Pole. He has to go to the Lego store and buy them like everyone else. And, can you imagine how much money it would cost him if he bought every kid who loved Lego's all the Lego sets they wanted? If he bought you it, he wouldn't be able to bring you any other toys. Do you really want only one toy under the Christmas tree? Or would you rather have a lot of other toys?"

The lie worked. Mikie chose having more than one toy on Christmas morning. And, maybe due to guilt, maybe due to a desire to give my child everything his heart desires, I began my campaign for a Death Star. Mike and I convinced our families to chip in whatever amount they were going to spend on Mikie into one pool; we would make up the difference (if any) to get Mikie the Death Star from his family. The result was epic (especially since he wasn't expecting it). You can view the video here.

Evidently, getting the coolest Lego set produces a rush of testosterone, turning a child into the Incredible Hulk, because I swear that Lego set weighted at least 20 pounds. I had to have the store associate carry it to my car (since it is hard to carry a large, awkwardly sized, 20-lb box and push a stroller with an equally heavy toddler).

We also chronicled the construction of the Death Star, which was not nearly as bad as Mike expected. To view the photos, click here.

I do have to say, having worked on the construction, the engineers at Lego are both brilliant and creative. They have captured every detail of those movies in this set and made it operational. And, they have an incredible sense of humour. If you don't believe me, check out Lego.com. In addition to their online catalog, they have games and movies. The Lego Star Wars movies continue to entertain me (yes, I admit, me, not Mikie). My favorite one is a plot summary of Episode 4 entitled "May the 4th Be With You".

Merry Christmas.

Love, The Trahans

For the Love of Sugar

Most days, I avoid the grocery store like the plague. Since my role other than "working mom" is "personal chauffeur to Master and Mistress Trahan", I am tired at the end of the day. Hell, that's an understatement: I'm tired in the middle of the day. But, by the end of the day, with two kids in tow, the thought of taking them out in public makes me want to run and hide.

And then there are those days where I am desperate for. . . something. Inside, part of me is screaming "No. . .NO. . . HELL NO! Turn back. Find a happy place." And then there is another part of me that looks in the back seat, sees my munchkins sitting contentedly, and says "It won't be that bad. We'll be in and out in no time." Famous last words. . .

In preparation for Mikie's birthday party, I HAD to go to the grocery store. I had plans to bake a lot of things. . . cakes shaped like Lego guys, sugar cookies shaped like Star Wars figures, brownies, etc. And, to accomplish these things, I needed to replenish my stock of baking supplies. I should have gone on my lunch break, but, I didn't. Which is how Hannah and I ended up in the baking aisle of Price Chopper one evening. . .

If you read "Sugar and Spice...", you know Hannah has a thing for sugar. You'd think having been traumatized by the sheer volume of sugar coating my child and my living room, that I would have more sense than to let my child walk down the baking aisle. But, clearly, logic and reasoning skills had abandoned me when I pulled into the parking lot. Otherwise, I wouldn't have entered the store. But, I did enter the store, and I did put the child down so I could reach the box of brownie mix off the top shelf. By the time I looked back, Hannah had picked up THREE packages of rainbow sprinkles. She had one under her right arm, one in her right hand, one hugged against her chest with her left hand, and was trying to make a quick getaway down the aisle before I noticed (as quick as one can when there legs are 12 inches long and they are carrying their weight in sugar).

After blocking her exit, I managed to stop laughing long enough to grab my cell phone to capture her attempt to eat the sprinkles. I did get a few nasty looks from an old man who obviously thought I should take away the sprinkles and discipline my child, NOT capturing her antics for all posterity. Clearly, he doesn't read this blog.

Love, The Trahans

Two Degrees of William Shatner

How are yours truly and William Shatner related? Crabtree & Evelyn. Yes, William Shatner and Craig Ferguson did a skit on last night's episode of The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson, during which they made reference to Crabtree & Evelyn. And, more specifically, the fabulous products they formulate. And, since that happens to be my job (formulating fabulous products), I feel a new kinship to the Shat. . .

Incidently, should Mr. Shatner read this post, if you ever want your own line of personal care products, this chemist would be happy to listen to you tell me how to formulate. Trust me, there are many people without chemistry degrees who tell me how to formulate on a daily basis. At least I'd be guaranteed some laughs in the process.

Love, The Trahans

Weddings

It was September when I started writing this. Now it's officially October. So, I figured I had to finish the updates from summer before the trifecta of holidays. . . Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

As you can see, our summer was packed with travel and weddings. . .

Wedding #1: Kate & Marta

Picture it. . . Late June in North Carolina. We arrive amidst in the midst of a heat wave. Temperatures above 100 degrees each day, with humidity to match. I would love to say that it was a beautiful state, but we honestly tried to bask in the cool breeze of the central air conditioning as much as possible.

The wedding was small. Marta's brother, Jawan, and I were the only attendants, plus Hannah and Mikie as flower girl and ring bearer.

The wedding was memorable. Hannah walked down the aisle in socks because I didn't realize her feet had grown between when I bought the shoes and the big day. Not a problem if the wedding were inside. But, it was outside. . . on a concrete slab. . . at noon. . . and, did I mention, it was 100 degrees?

The air conditioning in the reception site was broken when we arrived to set up. Thanks to Marta's mom and I raising hell, it was fixed 30 minutes before the wedding. Well, partially fixed. One of two units was functional.

Once we forgot about the heat, capsizing cupcakes and melting makeup, we all had a great time. Marta's family made all of the food which was both a daunting task for close to 100 guests. Everything tasted amazing. In addition, Marta's mom was the officiant. I think it made the wedding even more special, watching how happy and proud she was of Marta as they said their vows to each other. After the ceremony, Hannah took a dip in one of the ice chests (and in the sink after all the guests left and we were waiting to lock up). Once he was out of his suit, Mikie had a great time playing with his cousins.Unfortunately, the long weekend ended quickly. Katie & Marta got to go on their honeymoon while we flew back to work. On the plus side, it felt a lot cooler in Massachusetts when we got back (even if it was still in the 90s).

Wedding #2: Krista & Jeff

Last summer, my cousin Krista moved in with us to do an internship. She was a huge help, and we all had a great time bonding. In spite of all the time she spent with us, Mikie managed to convince her that he was a "sweet boy". And, so, Mikie was asked to be ring bearer in Krista's wedding. . . in August. . . in Texas. . . where we stopped checking the thermometer when we saw the temperature reach 105 degrees.

Unlike Katie's wedding, Krista and Jeff had the good sense to have their wedding in the evening, inside, with the air conditioning blasting. And, since a 7pm wedding in Texas translates to bedtime in Massachusetts, my aunt helped us find a babysitter to watch the munchkins while we went to the reception. Which meant we had more opportunity to enjoy the wedding. Plus, we had all day Sunday to spend with my Aunt Maureen, Uncle Jim, cousin James and his fiance, Sarah, before flying back to Massachusetts. Sunday also included a dip in the 93 degree pool at 5pm, which although not very refreshing, was entertaining for Mikie (as were the stash of James and Krista's old Disney VHS tapes that Mikie found and watched afterwards).

Mikie looked quite dapper in his tuxedo, and told me he would "tell the flowergirls what they were supposed to do" since he was a pro at weddings now. I think the wedding coordinator might not agree, but, he made it down the aisle with only a few guffaws (I remember him holding the pillow over his face as he passed our pew). I have video: the full processional and the "abridged" version of Mikie's antics. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures because, although I remembered the camera, I left the battery charging in the office.

All in all, we had our fill of weddings. At least until October when James and Sarah get married, as well as Mike's pseudo stepsister, Jen.

Love, The Trahans

For The Love of Crocs

Hannah is obsessed with two things: shoes and handbags. She is what I would imagine Imelda Marcos was like as a child. If you leave a pair of shoes out, you will find Hannah parading around the house in them. And she isn't particular about size, color, style. You can find her in Mike's sneakers one minute, followed by my heels the next. And, as you can see in the video, she toddles around with a fair amount of balance (one of a few traits not inherited from me).

Her favorite pair of shoes are Mikie's crocs. To the point of making it difficult to leave the house in the morning. When I tell Mikie to put on his shoes, Hannah runs out of the room, grabs his crocs and starts hugging them possessively to her body. The standoff ends either with me convincing her to turn them over to her brother or ripping them from her little paws.

So began our mission to get Hannah crocs. I started by finding ever pair of crocs Mikie had outgrown that I hadn't trashed (there were two). Since both were too big for her to wear out of the house, we started searching stores for tiny pairs of crocs.

Our search ended this weekend at a Nordstrom's in Dallas, Texas. Hannah is now the proud owner of a pair of pink camouflage crocs, complete with sparkle butterfly and flower jibbits.

I do have to wonder, what is the point of pink camouflage? I mean, I get camouflage: decorating something to conceal. But, where are you intending to conceal something when you decorate it with a multitude of pink paint? The Barbie aisle at Toys 'R Us?

Regardless, Hannah loves her crocs. When I dropped her off at daycare this morning with instructions to "Show Ms. Danielle your new shoes", she twirled in a circle, admiring her feet (I swear I didn't teach her that, I am so far from a girly girl). In the afternoon, the staff claimed she had a tantrum when they tried to take them off and change her diaper. And, this evening when I put her to bed, she refused to lay down until I put them back on her feet. . .Sweet Dreams.

Love, The Trahans

Driving Miss Daisy

Hannah is obsessed with the Little Tikes Cozy Coupe. Originally, I thought it was an obsession with ride-on toys. So, we brought Mikie's BMW up from the basement. Nothing. We had some success with Mikie's tricycle, but Hannah is still too short for her feet to reach the pedals. By the second time Toys 'R Us offered $20 off any Little Tikes item, we broke down and purchased Hannah her own car.

You would think that having her own car would keep her entertained for hours. Unfortunately, the Cozy Coupe has a floorboard that can be removed to drive Flintstones-style, or left in for little kids so that the mom and dad can push them around without risk of running over legs.

Now, there is NO WAY I would have installed the floorboard. I mean, her only experience with this car is at daycare, where the kid power fuels these vehicles. The last thing I want is a toy that requires me to hunch over and push my prima donna toddler around the house all night. My chiropractor already makes enough off of me, thank you very much. Mike didn't follow the same train of thought. . .

Luckily, Mikie has BOUNDLESS amounts of energy and all but jumped at the opportunity to push his sister around. You can watch a video of his devotion to his sister by clicking here.

Love, The Trahans

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, in a far away place, there lived a Princess named Hannah. Hannah was known throughout the land as Princess Tinklepants because of her ability to sprinkle urine on all unsuspecting attendants who happened to help her change into dry undergarments.

As she got older, she noticed that not everyone wears disposable diapers. Many whom she looked up to (not necessarily out of respect as much as they were taller) pee into a porcelain throne. How appropriate, she thought. A throne for Princess Tinklepants in which one can tinkle.

Not satisfied with watching others, Hannah wanted to join in the fun. And so she began her days perched on the porcelain potty, looking down at her loyal attendants, entertained by their looks of anticipation, wondering if this time she would actual pee. . .

Sounds like a lovely story. An endearing heroine, destined to rule. Will she or won't she lay claim to her throne and her title by learning to pee in the potty?

Unfortunately, at 7am, hair combed, makeup on, dressed in clothes which are clean (if not always ironed), I, Lauren, Queen of the land (who is frequently mistaken for the Chauffeur, Cook, Maid and Butler) finds little pleasure in the potty time ritual. Princess Hannah, one of little words (because whining "eh" and pointing is quite effective), likes to looks down at her diaper, announce "Pee-pee" while running towards the potty, ripping at her diaper. Not one to stifle her interest, I help her onto her throne and talk to her, hoping she will actually pee. The process is all the more amusing when I don't have the Bob The Builder padded child seat in the bathroom she runs to (we used to have two, but one seems to have disappeared in the last three years, and I haven't found the time or motivation to get to Babies 'R Us recently). So, picture a very tiny butt perched precariously on the toilet seat, mom hovering nearby holding her to prevent her falling into the toilet (she's so tiny, I'm convinced her entire body will one day end up in the bowl).Princess Tinklepants is giddy during this event. Especially if she has an audience other than myself. And, Mikie (either, because he loves her, or because he is trying to get revenge for all the time she wants to watch him pee) is always happy to play the role of Court Jester. She sits for at most 10 seconds. Then she squirms. I say, "All done?" She nods her head emphatically and tries to get down. While I try to wrestle her back into a diaper, she throws a leg up on the toilet and tries to ascend her throne again. So, I help her back onto the bowl. Mikie dances. Hannah giggles. Commence squirming, dressing, followed by the frantic climb to get back on the bowl. The process continues in this manner for about 3 minutes (more or less in direct relationship to how rushed I am or how crappy a day I have had at work).

Eventually, I get exasperated, and, trying to mask my annoyance, I wave goodbye to the water, flush the toilet, and let her watch the water drain out of the bowl.

Unfortunately, Hannah has recently reverted back to her less than regal habit: splashing in the toilet. It appears that she views flushing as the perfect opportunity to reach into the bowl to play in the water. Luckily (unlike when she barges in on anyone else using the potty) the water is both clean (well, maybe not clean as much as "free of bodily fluids") and recently flushed, so it could be much worse. And, my shouts of disdain coupled with Mikie's giggles only feed her enthusiasm for splashing.

After much scolding and hand washing, I push both of them out of the bathroom. Until the next time she yells "pee-pee". Because, as the story goes, this could be the time. . .

I swear, my kids see me and think "what can we do to push mom over the edge today?"

Love, The Royal Family

Grocery Shopping

At least once a month, while driving home from work, I feel compelled to stop at the grocery store. I say this only happens about once a month because, each trip leaves me scarred and it takes a month to convince myself that "it won't be that bad". Tonight was one of those trips. . .

On the one hand, it could have been worse. It could have been like the time Hannah refused to hand over the package of Knorr instant rice to the cashier to scan, resulting in a tug of war with Hannah holding on with all of her might while Mikie and I tried to pry her off of the bag. The bag tore open, spewing powdered flavor everywhere, leaving me too embarrassed not to pay for it.

Or, it could have been one of those embarrassing morning stops to pick up breakfast when Mikie insisted on wearing his swim goggles through the store (on the off chance the lobster tank overflows).And let's not forget the trip where, in my effort to appease my whining 5 year old, I stood in the doorway, cart full of groceries blocking the exit, rummaging through my purse desperately looking for quarters to feed the toy machine while Hannah sat on my hip ripping the hair out of my head. Some stranger felt so bad for me, they gave Mikie $0.50 after he promised to "take care of mommy".

If I can erase the screaming baby and the piteous stares from my memory, tonight's trip was almost humorous. . .

As the scene opens, we see a well dressed mother navigating a grocery store parking lot full of puddles with two kids. Entering the store, she places the toddler in a shopping cart. Said toddler would be extremely cute if she didn't look like she bathed in dirt. She is holding what remains of her brother's Tootsie Pop in one hand, and a fistful of long red hair (her mother's, not her own) in her other hand. While mom is attempting to locate her grocery list, the older child castrates himself in an effort to climb into the cart.

The threesome quickly make their way through the aisles (mom knowing that she has a limited amount of time before the sticky toddler starts screaming for freedom). Entering the cereal aisle, conversation ensues:

Mikie: "We need to get Honey Nut Cheerios."

Mom: "Mikie, you don't eat cereal, let alone Honey Nut Cheerios. Why should I buy them?"

Mikie: "For the toy."

Mom: pauses, looking for the box to see what toy is so special.

Mikie: "They're down on the left."

Mom: momentarily stunned to hear that her son miraculously remembered his left from his right (cereal box toys being a strong motivator): "I see it."

The box contains a Penguins of Madagascar flip toy. Amidst stifled giggles and sideways glances from the FOUR store employees that are restocking the cereal aisle, Mom quickly scans the shelves, looking for another cereal containing the same toy. Sensing the natives are getting restless. . .

Mom: "There must be another cereal that contains the same toy."

Mikie: "Yeah, Cocoa Puffs."

Mom: "We are NOT getting Cocoa Puffs!"

Amidst more laughter from store employees, our protagonist sheepishly loads the box of Honey Nut Cheerios into the cart, announcing to no one in general "Hopefully your sister likes Honey Nut Cheerios."

Since the previously pleasant toddler turned into "Evil Nibbles" shortly thereafter, our heroine suffers more looks in her rush to pay and exit the store.

Upon returning home, our main character relates the shopping experience to her husband. . .

Dad: "I explained to Mikie over the weekend when we were at Target that we would NOT buy cereal just for the toy."

Mom fights the urge to laugh hysterically, wondering if the comfort of a padded cell would be more or less relaxing then her life. At this point in time, our five year old unknowingly enters the kitchen in search of his new toy.

Dad: "Mikie, what did I tell you this weekend about the Penguins toy?"

Mikie: attempts to appear remorseful by looking at the floor, but is unable to mask the HUGE grin on his face: "That we weren't going to get it."

Dad: "So what did you do?"

Mikie: runs out of the room with grin permanently affixed to his face: "Well, I decided to ask Mom, because I REALLY wanted it."Tomorrow, I am going to paste this post onto my steering wheel, as a more permanent reminder that, next time, I should continue driving past the store.

Love, The Trahans

"Sugar and Spice...

and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of."

Hannah brought new meaning to this saying today. . .

Let me start off by saying, I am still sick. In addition to my dysfunctional Eustachian tubes, I have also developed TMJ syndrome (aka "lock jaw") and a FOURTH sinus infection in the last six months. Plus vertigo and motion sickness which isn't easy to cope with when you are traveling as much as I have been. Thankfully, I am seeing both the ENT and the dentist this week, both of whom should be able to help fix me.

Having just returned from a four day trip to Long Island on business, during which I developed this lovely sinus infection, I was not thinking clearly. It is the only way to explain why, while on the phone with my sister and trying to find something to feed Hannah for lunch, I let her walk off with the shaker of colored sugar that I bought to decorate cookies at Christmas (cookies I never made). I did process what she was walking away with, but some part of my brain (the drugged part) said "she'll never get it open."

Approximately five minutes later, Hannah walked into the office carrying the empty sugar canister. Okay, not completely empty. It still had most of the yellow sugar (it looks like moisture mixed with sugar clogged the holes in the shaker). Here are some pictures:I apologize for the blurriness. . . I was so full of mixed emotions, I was simultaneously laughing and crying at the site of her. And then, I went into the living room and saw this:Thankfully, it was very easy to vacuum up because it was dry. Mike had more of a challenge cleaning the baby, who, incidentally, had just been bathed thirty minutes earlier. His complaint: she was causing the bath water to turn blue/green.

Clearly, they should change the warning on the prescription drug bottle to say, "WARNING: may impair judgement. Use caution when operating heavy machinery or when caring for young children."

Love, The Trahans